...Fun stuff...

Wow, college life is kinda tough. Very time consuming. I find myself writing one of my 899 essays for the week anytime I have a free moment. This makes me quite nervous, since after the new baby comes I will have zero free time to do anything.

Headaches have started to come and go. They arent bad though, just a dull ache that I'd prefer to sleep through. Ahh...sleep. One of my new best friends. I probably nap at least once a day now, if given the opportunity. Otherwise, I'm pretty much useless by about 7pm.

The stretchy muscle pains have arrived. I'm shocked because I didnt start getting these with Kadence until I was in my third month sometime. Granted, its only a few weeks earlier, but now I definitely know I'm gonna show earlier with this one! My hips have also started to widen as well, as they do with each kiddo. I hate this part only because it makes my hips ache all night long! At about four months with Kadence, I started getting the inability to walk due to such bad hip pain. We'll see how soon I start with this one! The worst is by far after the baby comes though and my hips try to shrink back down. Uuuugggghhhh. Never good.

Speaking of showing early, I've come to accept that I'm quite the bloater. haha Most days I look perfectly normal, the other days I have the obvious bloated tummy (but can be portrayed as a baby belly, easily). Today, while on a lunch date with a friend, she said "Aww look at the little tummy." I didnt have the heart to tell her that its not really from the baby! haha

My morning sickness is doing much better too. I'm finally able to go somewhere without wearing the all so fancy bracelets. I do get nauseous at least once or twice a day still though.

Well that's about it for now. Appointment on Friday!

...God grant me the serenity...

The thought of doing this with three kids scares the holy ever living sh*t out of me.

Lately it seems as if things are hitting me all at once. I finally get a slight handle on my morning sickness and BAMB! Fall Flu Virus 2008 hits. Ethan's been such a full time job because he puts up such a battle with taking meds, and I desperately need him to take fever reducers. I am terrified of him having a 106 fever repeat from earlier this year, so I'm constantly checking him and making sure he doesnt get past 103 at the highest. Its really amazing to see him go from a low grade temp to a high one in less than 15 minutes. Anyways, I havent been sleeping well for the past two days because I'm so freaked out about Ethan's well-being. Then, Kadence woke up with a stuffy nose last night...

If God decides to bless me with another girl, I am begging him to give me a low maintenance one. I love my daughter to death, but she is so much work and beyond over dramatic about every little thing. All night she was up wailing, not just crying, because she had a tiny stuffy nose. Not even something to use saline drops for! It woke Ethan up and he was running back and forth, trying to follow me wherever I went, and unintentionally waking Kadence up each time she'd go to sleep. Poor Jim was up trying to help me most of the night, and he had to go to work at 5 this morning. I was so on edge from my all around lack of sleep that I had to take a few minutes in the bathroom to myself. I am so worried about what the next few days will bring, since its only gonna get worse from here! Oh and you betcha that this morning has been a nightmare as well.

As both of the kids are in bed with me. Kadence only sleeping if swaddled in my arms, and Ethan trying to wrap his entire body around me, I cant help but panic when wondering....HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS WITH THREE KIDS?!?!

...Oh thank heavens...

Morning sickness bands! What a lifesaver! Its a form of acupuncture, and surprisingly it works. I didnt try them with Kadence because I thought they would just be a waste of money. This time I was willing to try anything though, and I'm glad I did! I have to wear one on each wrist at the same time, and they arent very pretty, but I dont really care at this point. haha I can function again and if I have to look ridiculous for a little bit...I'm all for it =)

My first appointment is still nine days away. I feel like I've been waiting forever to get in! I now have an insurance card though for my medical, which is great!

Sickness is running through my house now. Ethan caught a pretty bad cold and is home from school today because of it =( Pray nobody else gets it! Especially Kadence! So far she's only caught one tiny cold since birth and I'm hoping it stays that way until she's at least a year old. High hopes, I know.

...Week 7...

"The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry. "

...Make it stop...

I already dont know how much more of this I can take. The constant extreme nausea and inability to function has me so on edge, I feel like a ticking time bomb. I am of no use to any of my friends at this point, I have decided. I tried to designate one day to them all yesterday, and knocked out a few of them, but that's really all I can handle right now (and it had a lot in part to do with Jim being there to help me). Most of the day I spent begging Jim to call things off, because I wasnt sure I could even do it! It's hard for me to explain how horrible I really feel, and some of them I just give the basics...which ends up putting me in the doghouse.

Because I didnt speak up one day, a friend needed me to babysit her kids from 4-10 pm (for personal issues), and ironically enough it was the night Jim had to stay at work until 11! It took everything I had in me not to run to the toilet every five seconds, and that was the easiest part. If I had a normal functioning body, I could have easily entertained them and kept them at bay for the time they were here. I didnt though. The final time I called Jim I was pretty much in tears. Then go figure, I woke up the next morning with the bleeding issue (which went away within a few hours).

I cant imagine having to work right now. I remember being sick with Kadence for the longest time, but I was able to function! This is horrific. I seriously need this to stop so that I can take care of my other children =(

...Here we go again...

So I'm bleeding...again. Pretty bad this time. Sadly, I dont have my medical insurance card for the state yet, so we are weighing out whether to chance it at St Peters or go back to Madigan. Either way, wish us luck. :::sigh:::

Update: We are gonna wait it out a bit and see how it continues. If it gets worse we'll be going in!

...Icky-ness...

Okay, I'm officially starting to get more nauseous throughout the day. The trend is when I start to get hungry. This means, obviously, I need to eat on a regular basis if I dont wanna feel like I'm gonna throw up every few seconds. :::sigh::: I'm gonna get so big this time around. haha

On another note, I'm starting to get paranoid about my kidneys. Most of you may remember how it put me in the hospital when I was pregnant with K, for 3 days. Three miserable days. It was by far the worst pain of my entire life. When you are constantly throwing up from the pain...it's bad. After that I was due to see my midwife every week, along with getting an ultrasound weekly because Kadence had low fluids, and I went into preterm labor four seperate times. I'm paranoid because once you start having kidney problems during pregnancy, they progressively get worse. I was always being monitored for it and to this day my kidneys are shot.

Wish me luck. The thought of having to go through another kidney stone/infection episode sends chills down my spine.

...On a better note...

I went in today and got on State Medical. I am very excited about this because A) I get to use my same Midwife, go to the same hospital, etc as I did with Kadence and B) I dont have to deal with Madigan!

My first appointment is September 26th, and on October 6th I will have my first ultrasound!

...Reasons why I hate Madigan...

Most of yesterday I had horrible cramping, I couldnt quite put my finger on it but something kept telling me to 'take it easy.' Unfortunately I didn't because I had so much to do. Around 9 pm I started spotting, which was then accompanied by much harsher cramping. After much consideration (and Jim's persuasion), we packed the kids up and headed to Madigan. Sitting in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity, I start to feel as if this was all a big waste of time. If (God forbid) I was losing the baby, there is nothing they could do about it anyway. It's sad, but true =( Then we started talking to a couple opposite us, which ironically enough the husband was in Jim's unit, and they told us they had been there for four hours. She was pregnant and having horrible cramps, with vomiting. I felt terrible for her! I told Jim we were going home (At 12:30) and we got up to leave. I told the couple beside us how to work Tricare (by calling them before you hit the ER of another hospital) and they decided to leave too.

I am still cramping, but not spotting. I know from past experience that if I just drink lots of water and rest rest rest...I should be okay.

The couple that was across from us? Jim found out today that they did in fact go to a different hospital. Unfortunately, the girl had appendicitis. She was rushed into emergency surgery causing her to lose their pregnancy. She was 4 months along =( My heart breaks for them and I ask that you please pray for this family!

...Not again...

Ugh, yesterday was my first day of official 'morning' sickness (although it started mid-day and went on til around midnight). Not a fan of that crap, lemme tell ya. haha I'm hoping this isnt a sign of what's to come. I was miserably sick with Kadence from 7-12weeks. I'm not even 7 weeks yet! Yipes =X

Today was a sleepy day. Took an hour nap with Kadence. I tossed and turned most of it though =\

Then I woke up and haaad to go get a pizza from Papa Johns. The same pizza I used to make there almost every day. Ham, extra cheese, light sauce. Havent craved it in awhile, but woke up desperately needing it! Luckily my old boss was there and gave it to me for free, I lub him. hehe A lot of days I miss working there, but a lot of days I dont! I got Ethan an order of cheesesticks too. Thats his all time favorite food! He will be super surprised and excited when he sees what his after school snack is today =)

...Maybe, Baby... Girl? or boy?

So I put up a poll for everyone to have some fun with. I already have my idea of what it is, which has never been wrong (but could be this time!). I will not say what I think it is though until the ending date of the poll December 15th (should be within a week or two of when I find out). I'm gonna give you little clues though on occasion to put up the differences between this pregnancy, Ethan's, and Kadences =) Here are a few to start with...

This pregnancy: I'm only exhausted and want to sleep on occasion. I can go a day or two with regular sleep and feel fine, but then go a day where I want to sleep the entire day! I also had insomnia issues for a few weeks, where I didnt go to sleep until about 2-3 am. Now I go to bed early, like 9-10 pm!

Ethan: I could have slept my entire pregnancy away if someone would have let me! I would sleep from the time his Dad and I went to bed, until about an hour before his Dad got home from work, (which is when I cleaned) 11 pm or so til about 3-4 pm. Then I'd go back to bed at a normal time again that night!

Kadence: I barely slept. I had horrible insomnia issues. I'd go to bed between 1-2 am, then get up with Ethan at 7:30 for school. On occasion I would go back to bed for another hour or two before work. Rarely though.

This pregnancy: I crave spicey and sour things. I still love my Spicey V8, but I could eat a jar of pickles in a day easy!

Ethan: I only craved sour things. Sour gummy worms were my vise!

Kadence: I craved weird things like Mexican (which I hated up until then with a passion, odd), and I couldnt really stand the taste of Spicey V8's.

This pregnancy: I only have mood swings on occasion, as well. I can be pretty happy for several days, and the antiChrist the next!

Ethan: I didnt have an angry bone in my body. It was as if I had been given some sort of 9 month happy pill.

Kadence: I pretty much hated everybody, and everything. haha

...Sex, lies, and pregnancy...

Will someone please explain to my husband that due to hormones during pregnancy, my sex drive is simply put...non existent. Ugh. I swear, we go through the "Do you just not find me attractive anymore" discussion at least once a day. haha I feel bad for him, I really do. I cant help it though! Mixing breastfeeding and pregnancy is definitely taking a toll on my hormones. I'm honestly repulsed by the thought of any sort of sexual intercourse. *YaY* for the newlywed stage =X

Some women get lucky and are extremely 'rowdy' during pregnancy. For some reason, my husband believes this to be all pregnant women. Even when I was preggo with Kadence, he thought my minimal (not nearly as bad as it is now) sex drive was just bizzare! I'm pretty sure he thought I was faking it. haha I must admit, I did come up with a few 'I have a headache tonight' fibs, just cause I wanted to be lazy, but most of the time I really just wasnt interested in the whole getting 'down and dirty' concept.

I'm one of those "sex is what got me here in the first place" kinda ladies, I guess. Who knows why I get this way. He wanted me pregnant though! I have to keep reminding him of that =) It sorta helps me not feel so bad. hehe

...Definitely pregnant. Definitely...

Went and got my pregnancy confirmation today. I'm 5w4d according to my LMP =) So, I was right. Guess it helps when you've done this a few times. haha

We also went and got my Military ID, and enrolled me into Tricare. Bad news is my medical doesnt start until October 1st. Ugh. Not good. That puts me at 9w2d before I can even start making appointments. Not to mention, what if something happens (God forbid) and I need immediate medical attention? :::sigh::: So I am gonna try to get on state insurance temporarily. We'll see how that goes. That's why I had to get my 'confirmation' today.

Other than that, I'm feeling and doing just peachy.

...Just do it!...

I have a lot of friends considering TTC. I want them all to go through with it, but not because I want someone 'to be pregnant with.' I hate that kind of reasoning to have a baby, honestly. It's selfish, in my opinion. Sorry. I simply think the new additions would be perfect for all three families involved. If you are reading this, and you are one of my closest friends that is considering having a baby, just doooo it! There is never a right time. You are never going to have enough money. Your careers will be there waiting for you. If this is what you truely want, go for it. There is nothing more rewarding than being a mother, and the more children you have...the more love you bring into your home!

Tomorrow starts the journey of getting my Midwife set up, instead of going to Madigan. Army hospitals are not my thing. I realized this when I had Ethan. Way to impersonal, and they are all about meds, meds, meds! I intend on having another natural pregnancy, with no meds (not even a tylenol!), and an even more natural labor (again without even an IV!). It is what is best for my children. I dont need a doctor breathing down my neck and pushing me to get an epidural because its less work for them. Ugh, I better not even get started. haha

I do go in to get enrolled into DEERS tomorrow though (Tricare insurance), and I will also be getting my military ID card. It's gonna be a looooong day. Wish us luck, because I'm sure we will be waiting in line foreeeeever.

...How I'm feeling...

Overall, this has been my best pregnancy (to date). When reading my journals from Kadence and Ethan, I realize this has been quite an easy ride so far. With both kiddos I had severe cramping issues (which I always end up worried about, go figure). This time around I have had minimal cramping, although I was still concerned about it when I first found out I was preggo. I also am far less tired than I appeared to be with the other two. I'm still exhausted, dont get me wrong, but only on certain days. Most days I am perfectly fine. I also have no morning sickness yet, and I was miserable for several weeks with K! Usually, I dont even feel pregnant, which is great! On the days I feel it though...you know. haha


Breastfeeding kills. Nipple soreness set in last week and each time she latches on I cringe. I refuse to give up though. She deserves the full year, and I am not going to take that away from her. I have read up on Tandem Nursing, and the advantages and disadvantages of it. I am capable of doing it, and anyone that judges me can kiss my arse =) By the time my milk starts to change in flavor, she will be ready to wean anyways. So it will all work out perfect! It is not fair for me to take this away from her.

The bigger question is, will I breastfeed the next one? I love doing it, dont get me wrong, but it has been quite the rollercoaster for me. The first month and a half I was in tears most of the time, and ended up with Mastitis to boot. I have aquired Mastitis once and three yeast infections. Do I really want to put myself through this again? The bond I have with Kadence is unbreakable, and if it didnt come with all the drawbacks I wouldnt even question this. So many decisions to make. I am about being all natural, but do I think I can handle the 'sick days' with three kids in the house, now?

...Belly shot: 4-6 weeks...

5 weeks down, only 35 to go!

It makes me sad to think I started my pregnancy with Kadence 8 lbs smaller! Once I had her, I dropped the weight pretty quickly. Not as quick as I did with Ethan, cause I dropped 17 lbs immediately. Within about 3 weeks after K though I was into my pre-preggo pants and back at my starting weight. Then I slowly started gaining again because I had to constantly eat for breastfeeding purposes. I tried to diet, but when you breastfeed the only thing you can go on is the "Fat Free" diet which SUCKS! It's so hard to do. Everything has fat in it, yet I was supposed to eat 1800+ calories a day! Everyone remarks that it must be my boobs that hold the extra weight, but if you look at me 5 weeks preggo with K, versus now, I'm just a smidge bigger (as I suspected all along!).

:::cries:::

I know it sounds shallow. I hear often that I shouldnt complain because I am still skinny, but we are our own worst critics. I should be thanking my lucky stars that Ethan left me only a couple tiny stretch marks, and Kadence left me with none.

...Our new adventure...

Yup, you heard right. Baby #3 is on it's way!

How did it happen?: First off, know that I am not on birth control for one main reason (well, two if you count our fear of the IUD). I am breastfeeding. The mini pill is the only thing you can take, and if you miss so much as ONE pill in a month, it makes your risk ten times greater than having taken no BC at all. So we opted out of that choice, and chose to go the 'breastfeeding is a natural contraception' route. Unfortunately, that only lasts for the first 6 months. haha A month later, baby #3 was obviously conceived! We were not 'careless' and used normal BC methods. *Although it may look different since some of you know that Jimmy really wanted to have another baby, now. I was not ready though, so we were not TTC.

How did we find out?: Last week I was quite moody. Jim kept suggesting that I must be pregnant for my sudden hormonal outbursts, since he remembers them from K's pregnancy. I regressed. I always know when I am pregnant, before I ever test, and I didnt feel any different (plus there was tons of cramping going on to divert me). Day before I tested we had a huge day planned with the kids, and I slept most of it due to feeling ill. That night Jim asked me if I needed anything from the store, cause he was going. I joked about wanting ice cream and a pregnancy test (cause of his constant remarks) and the silly guy brought me home a three pack suspecting I was serious! That night I had a crazy dream that I took a test and it was positive. There was my sign! I woke up super early that following morning and took one of the tests. Half awake, the obvious positive sign showed up. Shock set in. After starring at it for several minutes, as if I were still dreaming, I rushed into the bedroom. I punched Jim in the arm, threw the test at him, and yelled "You a*shole, you got me pregnant!" haha. (Oh what a memory that will always be.) In a blur, he woke up and looked at it saying "No you're not. You're not pregnant." I flicked on the light, threw the instructions at him, and within a minute he remarks "Oh sh*t, you're pregnant."
...and thats how we found out. haha

How do I (we) feel?: After the initial shock of it all, I am okay with it. I LOVE being pregnant, birthing my children, and raising them. Yes, I know that Kadence will only be 17 months old when this baby is born (given my body does MUCH better than last time and I am able to carry to 40 weeks). Yes, I know that I just started school. Yes, I know that we are crazy. haha Jim is ecstatic though, and this is what he really wanted. And I am doing my courses online, which I can do pregnant and with three kids (Ethan is in school mostly anyways). As Jimmy has drilled it into my head, we are perfectly ready for this. We are buying a house, we have stability, our kids are super close, and Ethan most of all will freak when he realizes he gets another baby to obsess about. haha Kadence is my only worry because she is attached to my hip 110% (and my boob hehe). It will all work out though, and I know this gift was given to us for a reason.

I only pray that you all support us in this, as you have done in the past with all of my other children. As always, I never take more than a day to regroup and do what needs to be done! I am strong, my family is strong, and we can do this =)